Caring for Them, Caring for You.

For parents, siblings, and family caregivers of children or adults with intellectual or developmental disabilities.

Caring for a child or adult with an intellectual or developmental disability often means a schedule built around someone else's needs, years into the future. Appointments, behavior plans, school meetings, regional center paperwork, sleepless nights, and constant vigilance add up. Most of that work is invisible to the people around you.

Caregivers often put their own health last for so long that exhaustion starts to feel normal. Irritability, trouble sleeping, getting sick more often, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, and feeling numb are all common signs of caregiver burnout. They are not character flaws. They are what happens when a person runs on empty for too long.

Many caregivers also carry a quiet, ongoing grief. It is not grief over a loss that happened once. It is grief that returns at milestones, such as a birthday, a school year ending, or a milestone that looks different than you once pictured. That kind of grief is common, and it deserves space to be named.

Your therapy is yours. It is separate from your family member's services.

It is also common to feel love and resentment at the same time. Many parents feel guilty for having those feelings at all. In therapy, both can be true without either one canceling the other. Saying the hard thing out loud, in a private space, is often the first relief a caregiver has had in years.

Your therapy is yours. It is separate from your family member's services, behavior support, or treatment team. You do not need their involvement or permission to start, and your sessions follow the same confidentiality rules as any other therapy. If coordination would help, it only happens with your consent.

Caregiving strain often shows up in the rest of the family too. Partners can drift into a pattern of logistics with little connection left over. Siblings may feel overlooked or take on adult responsibilities early. A clinician can help you look at the whole family system, not just the crisis of the week.

Transitions are especially hard. The move from school services into adult services in early adulthood, changes in living arrangements, and planning for who will provide care in the future all bring uncertainty. Having steady support during those stretches makes decisions feel less overwhelming.

Practical support matters as much as emotional support. California's regional centers can provide respite services, which give family caregivers scheduled breaks. If you have not asked about respite, or were told no in the past, ask your service coordinator what is available now.

Asking for help is not a sign that you are failing your family member. Caregivers who get support for themselves tend to have more patience, better sleep, and more energy for the long road. Therapy is a place to plan, to problem-solve, and sometimes simply to put the load down for an hour.

Telehealth makes therapy realistic for caregivers. There is no drive to coordinate and no need to find coverage for a long absence. Many caregivers schedule sessions during school hours, during a respite visit, or after their family member is asleep.

If you are a PHP member, your own therapy is covered when it is medically necessary, with no referral required. Stress, anxiety, depression, and grief tied to caregiving are all reasons to start.

Getting started takes a few minutes. Submit our intake form at www.pacmhs.com/connect and we will reach out within one hour between 8am and 8pm, or by 9am the next morning to verify your PHP coverage and get your first session scheduled. You can also press the Get Started button below, which takes you to the same form.